Bloody Mallory (2002)

Director: Julien Magnat

So, I’m at home over Christmas and the wife and I decide to watch a scary movie. I like campy; she likes thrillers. We are looking through the On Demand selections and we see French and both think artsy. We ended up with Crappy.

The movie is about a team of paranormal commandos that the French government sends to knock off ghouls and such. The team consists of a Transvestite, a psychic child, and Bloody Mallory who is the ass kicker. The pope is kidnapped, but he’s a demon anyway, and the world gets saved from evil . . .or something. Its really bad . . . but not wholly without any legal matters:

1. This teams shows up and kills goblins, vampires, demons, etc., because they are a government led team this could lead to a question of metalaw and what sorts of rights to non human entities recieve.

2. Mallory has to contact her dead demon husband whom she killed and sent to Limbo. There is an entire code that governs these transactions (and they quote it alot).

3. The pope is giving a speech in Paris in which he condemns Abortion and Same Sex Marriage. He refers to them as the “axis of evil.” The French really do hate us: George W. got compared to a demon Pope.

4. Mallory has “Fuck Evil” tattooed on her hands. Is this a philosophical equation of law with morality? The world may never know (at least lets hope they don’t ever know … a sequel would be a bad idea).

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The Core (2003)

Director: Jon Amiel
This horrible little action adventure film has the United States creating a weapon that stops the core of the Earth from spinning. This is going to lead to the end of the world because . . . well because that is what happens when the center of the earth stops spinning. As a solution to this pesky problem, the US government enlists a team of scientists and geologists to build a craft that can go to the center of the earth and set off nuclear explosions to get the core going again (I know it sounds like a bad Jules Verne novel).

These are the legal quandries:

1. At the beginning a Space Shuttle crashes into downtown Los Angeles. This damage isn’t covered by the Liability Convention. Just what sort of insurance is NASA toting?

2. The United States developed the weapon on the grounds of Mutually Assured Destruction. Seems to fit.

3. The guys are cruising around in a ship underground. Now, granting that the ship is made out of a material called unobtainium that ain’t remotely real, just how far down does national soveriegnty go.

4. The United States saves the world, but also destroyed part of it first. How much state responsibility is gonna apply to the destruction of Rome?

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