Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)

Director: Don Coscarelli

What a great flick. Here’s the run down: Elvis (Bruce Campbell) and JFK (Ossie Davis) are in rest home in Mud Creek, TX just waiting to die. People at the rest home, though, are going quicker than natural due to a soul sucking mummy who has been dining on the souls of the elderly. When Elvis and JFK discover this they have to step it up and prepare to do battle with the ancient Egyptian creature. I know that it sounds like a campy thing that someone makes in their final year of film school, but its really good. A must for those of us obsessed with the King . . . and probably for those of you obsessed with Egyptology or JFK.

Hunk a hunk a burnin law:

1. Elvis is in this rest home because at the height of his fame he traded places with an Elvis impersonator Sebastian Huff. They signed a contract that if ever Elvis got tired of being Elvis he would be able to reassume the identity. Unfortunately for Elvis, his copy of the contract burned up in a BBQ accident leaving him devoid of an evidence.

2. More political than legal, but JFK insists that his assasination (an subsequent color change) was part of a Government conspiracy led by none other than LBJ. We should live by his words (later on in life that is): “Ask not what your rest home can do for you. Ask what you can do for your rest home.”

IMDB
Rotten Tomatoes

An American Haunting (2005)

Director: Courtney Solomon

So, if you are looking for a bad Valentine’s Day pick for next year, I’ve found it for you. American Haunting is a spectacularly unclever horror flick that is full of cheap cliched camera angles and tricks. The plot is miserable and serves, instead of making for frightened, “protect me” snuggles, to make the viewers some what disgusted not to mention bored. Luckily (and this is rare) I didn’t pick this particular viewing experience out, so it was all her fault.

An American Haunting purports to tell the story of the Bell Witch, a local Tennessee legend. It goes way back to pre-Civil War days and tells the story of a family suffering from a poltergeist like curse that they think has been placed on them by an angry tenant. The curse is actually from somewhere a little deeper and darker though.

Cursed law:

1. The initial action occurs at a church trial in which the head of the family, John (Donald Sutherland), is found guilty of usury as a result of his charging twenty percent interest on a loan. The sentence, though, is a little lighter than the oppossing party would like (she got to keep the land and John’s good name was ruined, but she was not reimbursed for the timber he cut), so she curses the family.

2. It turns out that the real curse is from John’s breaking a taboo that could be better defined under natural law than canon law, though.

3. Reference is made twice to the “pound of flesh” judgement in Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice.

IMDB
Rotten Tomatoes

Bloody Mallory (2002)

Director: Julien Magnat

So, I’m at home over Christmas and the wife and I decide to watch a scary movie. I like campy; she likes thrillers. We are looking through the On Demand selections and we see French and both think artsy. We ended up with Crappy.

The movie is about a team of paranormal commandos that the French government sends to knock off ghouls and such. The team consists of a Transvestite, a psychic child, and Bloody Mallory who is the ass kicker. The pope is kidnapped, but he’s a demon anyway, and the world gets saved from evil . . .or something. Its really bad . . . but not wholly without any legal matters:

1. This teams shows up and kills goblins, vampires, demons, etc., because they are a government led team this could lead to a question of metalaw and what sorts of rights to non human entities recieve.

2. Mallory has to contact her dead demon husband whom she killed and sent to Limbo. There is an entire code that governs these transactions (and they quote it alot).

3. The pope is giving a speech in Paris in which he condemns Abortion and Same Sex Marriage. He refers to them as the “axis of evil.” The French really do hate us: George W. got compared to a demon Pope.

4. Mallory has “Fuck Evil” tattooed on her hands. Is this a philosophical equation of law with morality? The world may never know (at least lets hope they don’t ever know … a sequel would be a bad idea).

IMDB
Rotten Tomatoes