Communion (1989)

Director: Philippe Mora
Body Count: 0

Based on Whitley Streiber’s book by the same name, Communion charts Streiber’s alleged abduction by Aliens and the effects that it had on him and his family. Streiber, played by Christopher Walken, is abducted and researched by aliens from his country get away. He and his family must then cope with the psychological impact of the event. The movie looks a bit dated now; the aliens look more like they came out of Jim Henson’s puppet shop than like real creatures, and the abduction scenes are like Monty Python skits . . . Mony Python skits with Christopher Walken.

Abduction law:

1. Whitley’s wife says that the shrink should be trusted because she gives “evidence [that] is accepted in court.”

IMDB
Rotten Tomatoes

Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)

Director: Don Coscarelli

What a great flick. Here’s the run down: Elvis (Bruce Campbell) and JFK (Ossie Davis) are in rest home in Mud Creek, TX just waiting to die. People at the rest home, though, are going quicker than natural due to a soul sucking mummy who has been dining on the souls of the elderly. When Elvis and JFK discover this they have to step it up and prepare to do battle with the ancient Egyptian creature. I know that it sounds like a campy thing that someone makes in their final year of film school, but its really good. A must for those of us obsessed with the King . . . and probably for those of you obsessed with Egyptology or JFK.

Hunk a hunk a burnin law:

1. Elvis is in this rest home because at the height of his fame he traded places with an Elvis impersonator Sebastian Huff. They signed a contract that if ever Elvis got tired of being Elvis he would be able to reassume the identity. Unfortunately for Elvis, his copy of the contract burned up in a BBQ accident leaving him devoid of an evidence.

2. More political than legal, but JFK insists that his assasination (an subsequent color change) was part of a Government conspiracy led by none other than LBJ. We should live by his words (later on in life that is): “Ask not what your rest home can do for you. Ask what you can do for your rest home.”

IMDB
Rotten Tomatoes

World Gone Mad (1933)

Director: Christy Cabanne

In this mediocre showing from the beginnings of Hollywood, we find bad writing, bad cinematography, and a lot of lawyers. Essentially there is a murdered DA and the new DA and a reporter are trying to get to the bottom of it. There is some love interest that is all muddled up. Its boring as hell.

Old boring law:

1. A bootlegger who is in good with the District Attorney is asked to “fight the DA to the finish.” The loyalties of bootleggers being what they are, he aquiesces. To make the hit he sets the DA up with a promise of evidence in a big case. After his death the DA is made out to be a drinking womanizer.

2. At one point a brief case is called a “lawyers bag.”

3. The new DA is looking to capture the men who murdered the old DA because “people look to the law to protect them.” He claims that he would shoot the criminals himself “if the law allowed,” but instead he will send them away for as long as the law allows. A very noble chap.

4. We find out that the penalty for kidnapping is life in prison.

5. The murder is an attempt to cover up corporate looting. This sort of stock fraud was pertinent as this was made in the wake of the great depression. Thus we get a bit of the criminal end of corporate law.

6. A hit on the new DA fails. He is in denial that he is a target and is told that DA’s “don’t just have accidents.”

7. A bit of legal theory: “Smith and Wesson make all men equal, and equality is the basis of all democracy.”

8. The bad guys are planning to leave the country on a yatch: pre harsh immigration law days.

IMDB
Rotten Tomatoes

Where the Buffalo Roam (1980)

Director: Art Linson

Before there was Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas there was Where the Buffalo Roam. The film follows the hey day of Hunter S. Thompson’s journalism career. Bill Murray, as Thompson, is no Johnny Depp in the role, but he’s damn good. Where the Buffalo Roam focus’s on Thompson’s interactions with with his attorney Carl Lazlo (Peter Boyle). He’s not exactly the lawyer we all want to be, but there is something to his renegade ways, his pursuit of justice, and the way that he can throw a D.A. at a judge (don’t say you’ve never wanted to). I must apologize, my notes are sketchy and I’ve definitely missed some stuff.

Gonzo Law:

1. Thompson describes Lazlo as a “man I used to keep me out of jail in those years,” additionally Lazlo is “sometimes a good lawyer.” In the movie, he is working on an article entitled “My Attorney v. American Justice” (catchy ain’t it?). Carl Lazlo is based on real life Mexican-American attorney and activist Oscar Zeta Acosta, whom Thompson travelled with and wrote about.

2. When Thompson is in a clinic Lazlo arrives and states (in true Lazlo fashion), “as your attorney I advise you to leave this room at once.”

3. Lazlo is representing kids that have been taken in on drug charges. He is defending them all on fourth amendment grounds (protecting us from illegal search and seizure). He claims that the kids’ civil rights are violated and that the judges are handing out ridiculous sentences.

4. We see Lazlo in court working these cases. He tells his clients that there can be no “grab ass” in court. The D.A. declares that he wants to oppose a different lawyer. The case is called (“People v. Kramer”), and it is a marijuana possession case. Lazlo tells the judge that he will take all the cases to trial and clog the system for 6 years. Thompson meanwhile is cheering him to “hit them with the fourth amendment Laz.” In the case, the police caught the defendant with marijuana inside a cigarette pack. The cop declares that he suspected a bomb. Lazlo points out the ridiculousness, but because the defendant won’t give up his source for the weed he gets five years. Instead of appealing, Lazlo throws the D.A. at the judge.

5. Lazlo sees another Lawyer who says that Laslo should be working divorces or property. Lazlo refuses claiming he’s not in it for the money.

6. Lazlo’s career is later ended by arrest. He begins running guns to Mexico. He leaves us with some good advice though: “as your exattorney I advise you not to worry.” Well said, Lazlo.

IMDB
Rotten Tomatoes

Domestic Disturbance (2001)

Directer: Harold Becker

Frank (John Travolta) is divorced, and yet keeps a good relationship with his ex-wife. They even share responsibilities with the son (for whom she has custody). But she’s getting ready to marry Rick (Vince Vaughn). Rick seems like a nice guy, but when he kills a guy in front of Danny (the son of course) it causes a domestic disturbance (and a film devoid of any originality).

Disturbed law:

1. Danny ditches school and is picked up by the police. He’s done it before and demanded a lawyer. Way to know your rights Danny.

2. When Ray, one of Ricks old criminal buddies, comes to town, Rick tells him that scumbags are what he “came to hate most about working outside the law.”

3. After Danny sees the murder there is a police interrogation in which no one believes Danny. Finally, Frank believes him and sues for custody in order to get him away from Rick. He even kidnaps Danny in “custody play.” His lawyer says that he has no choice but to fight for custody and his girlfriend tells him that “mom’s always win these things.”

4. There is a custody hearing that Frank loses because Danny (under duress) retracts his accusations. There won’t be any perjury though because he was too young to swear in according to the judge.

5. Not really a legal thing, but man it was great seeing Vince Vaughn electrocuted by a well placed crow bar.

IMDB
Rotten Tomatoes