Superman Returns (2006)

Director: Bryan Singer

Another movie from a transatlantic flight – Delta again – this time they gave me a headphones that didn’t work in one ear. I pressed the stewardess button and it stayed on for an hour. Rubbish airline.

Superman Returns is exactly what it says it is. He’s back. Lex is back. Lois is back. I personally thought that the film was damn good (but I may have been comparing it with Delta’s roast chicken . . . or the Jack and ginger could have been kicking in). Kevin Spacey bring Lex Luther back to life quite brilliantly, and about half way through I realized that Brandon Routh wasn’t Christopher Reeve.

And its full of legal tidbits:

1. Act 1, Scene 1: Lex is bedside with an old woman who is signing her will which gives her estate to Lex – just before she dies. I think that there could be an argument for duress here, but more importantly there is no witness. There is no way Lex gets the estate so quickly. Can we say “lots of court.”

2. Superman’s first big deed is to save an airplane that has a space shuttle connected to it. The whole idea is that the shuttle will be launched from the back of the plane to save fuel (guess no one told them NASA was phasing that shuttle out). More importantly though, this causes questions about the delineation between airspace and outer space. This particular contraption would cause all sorts of difficulties for those that endorse the functionality view of the question. Also as to any claims made by those in the airplane, would they fall under the Liability Convention or do they fall under the Federal Tort Claims Act?

3. There are questions as to vigilante “justice.” The scoop at the Daily Planet one day is “Superman: Does he still stand for justice?”

4. More great police work. The police have barricaded a building that has villains with big guns in it, but the security guards are still wandering around inside with small guns.

5. Lex is out of jail because he won his 5th appeal. Apparently the appeals court called Superman as a witness, and he didn’t show up. This is just shoddy writing, the appeals court wouldn’t call a witness; they would rule for a new trial.

6. Lex tells Superman that he is “not so good at the little things like Miranda Rights, due process, making a court date.”

7. Lex is making a new continent. Right in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. So lets first talk a little bit about the law of the sea. Usually when land is suddenly created where there was once water, whoever had the rights to that area before gets the land, but of course no one owns the high seas. The question is can Lex actually claim the land as his? Someone actually asks Luthor if he thinks the rest of the world will let him keep the new continent . Also though, new land might very well require new property law, especially with such a vast amount.

8. Superman takes the land Lex created and puts it into orbit. Is it now a celestial body under the auspices of the Outer Space Treaty or the Moon Treaty? Or since it has an earthly origin is it a space object?

9. Oh yeah, Lex means law.

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Single White Female (1992)

Director: Barbet Schroeder

Another bad On Demand pick. This movie is a completely predictable thriller about a woman (named Allie … played by Bridget Fonda) who allows a possesive psycho (named Hedra … played by Jennifer Jason Leigh) to move in with her. The psycho of course goes on a killing spree. The one redeeming moment of the whole experience of watching this travesty on film is the scene where the Allie’s boyfirend (Steven Weber) is killed by a high heel…death by stilleto.

Very tenuous law in this baby:

1. The apartment is rent controlled so the psycho can’t go on the lease.

2. At the end when the psycho has Allie cornered Allie says . . . and I love this . . . “We’ll call a lawyer.” That always works with people who are on killing sprees.

3. Let’s hear it for shoddy cops. The boyfriend is axed with a size nine, Allie is framed by Hedra who has become an Allie look alike, and Allie manages to find out from the TV, get abducted, and go on a wild chase through the apartment building. Shouldn’t a police officer have showed up for questioning by now?

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Bloody Mallory (2002)

Director: Julien Magnat

So, I’m at home over Christmas and the wife and I decide to watch a scary movie. I like campy; she likes thrillers. We are looking through the On Demand selections and we see French and both think artsy. We ended up with Crappy.

The movie is about a team of paranormal commandos that the French government sends to knock off ghouls and such. The team consists of a Transvestite, a psychic child, and Bloody Mallory who is the ass kicker. The pope is kidnapped, but he’s a demon anyway, and the world gets saved from evil . . .or something. Its really bad . . . but not wholly without any legal matters:

1. This teams shows up and kills goblins, vampires, demons, etc., because they are a government led team this could lead to a question of metalaw and what sorts of rights to non human entities recieve.

2. Mallory has to contact her dead demon husband whom she killed and sent to Limbo. There is an entire code that governs these transactions (and they quote it alot).

3. The pope is giving a speech in Paris in which he condemns Abortion and Same Sex Marriage. He refers to them as the “axis of evil.” The French really do hate us: George W. got compared to a demon Pope.

4. Mallory has “Fuck Evil” tattooed on her hands. Is this a philosophical equation of law with morality? The world may never know (at least lets hope they don’t ever know … a sequel would be a bad idea).

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Heart of the Game (2005)

Director: Ward Serrill

This is a decent documentary about a girls high school basketball team in Seattle and its wild coach. It follows the team over three or four seasons documenting its struggles to win that covetted state championship. It has got a good focus, but still manages to drag at times. As a general rule the conflicts in it are very real, but on occasion it makes a big deal out of high school girls and their bickering.

Law please:

1. The coach is a tax law professor, and there is even a riveting moment from inside his classroom (its short though . . . I think the director realized that footage like that could suck up his movie real fast).

2. One of the star players is molested by her private coach. In the film she reads out her court testimony. The private coach pled guilty and got 40 months in jail.

3. Another star player misses a year due to pregnancy. When she returns to the team the WIAA (Washington Interscholastic Activities Association) denies her that eligibility. It claims that she must demonstrate a hardship that made her miss a year and that pregnancy was a voluntary decision and not a hardship. So off to court we go.
There is a great scene where the WIAA attorney requests that the film maker not video an injunction hearing, which of course is then filmed from the hip. The WIAA loses at the hearing. It then attempts to appeal this decision and loses. All the while the team is moving on up through the brackets. The WIAA threatens to go to trial. The head of the Association tells the cameras: “I made my decision, and a judge decided he could make a better decision.” (I guess no one ever bothered to tell him that that is what judges are paid to do). The case, though, (as portrayed in the film) seems to be highlighting the double standard applied to males and females, in that if a male has a child he can continue playing, but not so with a female.
The WIAA drops its case after the state championship . . . but I won’t tell you who won.

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The Illusionist (2006)

Director: Neil Burger

First, I have to admit that I watched this on a trans-Atlantic flight from Rome to Atlanta. Delta couldn’t get their sound system working correctly, so I think I only heard about 60% of the words spoken in the film. That being said, I got most everything, but there is a chance that I missed something while I was trying to savour my three cheese ravioli and salad with “seasonal greens” (iceberg lettuce).

The film is about an illusionist named Eisenheim (Edward Norton) who is at the top of his game. As he becomes more renowned his show gets visited by the Crown Prince in Vienna. The crown prince just happens to be engaged to a woman whom Esienheim was forcibly separated from when they were young due to his class. Thus the movie’s tension is that Esenhiem’s quest to regain the girl and to challenge the Crown Prince.

This is what I gathered over the children that were crying in front of me:

1. Eisenheim when young is told that he will no longer be able to see Sophie (Jessica Biel). If continues to do so his family will be arrested.

2. Eisenheim’s illusions seem to break the laws of nature so before the Crown Prince comes the police are charged with trying to expose them as a fraud.

3. There is a great scene where Eisenheim challenges the Crown Prince’s ability to rule with a sword trick. Only the person who can lift the sword is strong enough to be a ruler (a la the sword in the stone of Arthurian legend), but the prince can not lift the sword until Eisenheim releases it.

4. There is police involvement throughout the film as Chief Inspector Uhl (Paul Giamatti) is charged with exposing the Eisenheim and upholding the law. He eventually attempts to arrest Eisenheim on charges of disturbing public order, threats against the emperor, and charlatanism (I’d like to revive this crime . . . for fun mostly). In the end though he is forced to assert the law over the crown prince (who would have one believe he is above the law).

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